Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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