i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
