Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
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I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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