you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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