How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
