If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
