just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
