Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
