in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
