Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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