chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm