i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pants are for mortals