the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize