after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.