girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.