Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.