Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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