So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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