remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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