i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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