I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I look better un-naked...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme