WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He? As in you personified your dick?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!