at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.