i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize