so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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