I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
