U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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