This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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