So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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