Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
