I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
