I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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