I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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