Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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