you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
