New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
