im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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