we're blogging at a bar
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't deserve a penis
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
