she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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