what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
