so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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