More tranny stories later!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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