Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize