The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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