Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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