I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
