this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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