You work out of a Hotel?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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