Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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