it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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