That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
