Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
