Me. At least after what I've been through.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
