My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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