Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
