Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
