So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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