I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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