I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
