so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
