well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize