You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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