the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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