i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
