Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
