Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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