Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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